One of the medical professionals tells Frances that “only one in ten women” has endo, but there’s nothing “only” about 10% of all women suffering, mostly in silence, from unbearable pain. In the United States, it typically takes four to 11 years to receive a diagnosis. Frances waits weeks, possibly even months, before she is diagnosed with endometriosis – but sadly, she’s actually lucky. In episode six, after leaving the hospital, Frances muses “What are you allowed to feel about something that probably wasn’t anything at all?” She could be lamenting the non-relationship that is her affair with Nick or thinking about the miscarriage that wasn’t, but it resonates strongly as a commentary on ongoing health issues and the particular emotional wound of the in-between world of a lack of diagnosis. There’s something uniquely vulnerable about being cared for while ill, especially with disability and chronic illness, when there are so many emotions tied up into it. What transpires is an act of love and intimacy, Bobbi doing her best to joke and keep things light to allow Frances whatever measure of dignity she needs, even as they both reference a different kind of intimacy they’ve previously shared, which had also allowed Bobbi to see Frances undressed. She doesn’t necessarily have a whole lot of choice, but she could have resisted or insisted that Bobbi phone her mother. When Frances’ undiagnosed endometriosis comes to a head and she passes out at university, she lets Bobbi care for her. It’s worth noting that when they get back together, like many queer people, Bobbi and Frances go out of their way not to choose the kind of domestic monogamy that they find banal, a structure that set up many of the book’s central conflicts. Having three out of four main characters queer leaves no realistic way to end the show in relationships that aren’t queer, but finally foregrounding Bobbi and Frances’ relationship after largely removing both it and Bobbi’s impact on Frances’ life, as compared to the novel, feels like an important shift. It’s stated outright in the book (where her romantic chemistry with Bobbi is more substantial) and implied on screen, but Melissa is also bi. While Nick is acutely cishet (and literally apologises for it), Bobbi is gay and Frances is bisexual. Both come in during the back end of the series, and are two of the most successful elements of the lukewarm adaptation. But thankfully, Frances’s health concerns remain, as does Bobbi and Frances’ romantic relationship, albeit in an altered state. The creators of the BBC/Hulu adaptation stripped so much of what was most interesting from the book-questions of whether Nick was predatory in his relationship with Frances, issues of class and money, Frances’ struggle with self-harm and self-image, even Bobbi and Melissa’s dynamic. The Conversations With Friends limited series, an adaptation of Irish author Sally Rooney’s debut novel, is a story about the many ways four people come together and fall apart over the course of a summer. Warning: contains spoilers for the Conversations With Friends finale.
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